Aardvark Politics


Desperate Democrats brought a giant cartoon aardvark to Capitol Hill today, in a bid to save PBS from budget cuts.  As reported by Chris Moody of The Daily Caller, Massachusetts Democrat Ed Markey squeaked, “We need your help today.  We can’t leave Arthur and all of his pals in the lurch!”

“Arthur” would be the aardvark, whose full name is Arthur Read.  He’s the star of a series of books, plus an animated series.  His show is the second-longest-running animated program in the United States, behind only The Simpsons.  His adventures pull about 10 million viewers a week, and has spun off toys, music albums, and video games.  There have been over a hundred books written about him, and his merchandising empire is worth millions of dollars… but he’ll die without regular infusions of your tax money.

Even more absurdly, the Democrats hauled out Sesame Street characters, showing Bert and Ernie receiving a “GOPink slip.”  The Sesame Street empire is worth over a billion dollars.  Does anyone with better than a room-temperature IQ think these characters would simply disappear if taxpayers didn’t subsidize PBS?

“We’re here to create jobs, not lay off Bert and Ernie,” said Representative Nita Lowey of New York.  The Daily Caller goes on to describe Democrats arguing that the “market could not be trusted to provide quality broadcasting for children or news content for adults.”  So Dora the Explorer is just doing a job that American cartoons won’t do?

The absolute infantilism of Democrat politics is breathtaking.  Yesterday the President was telling us that if we don’t let him run the national debt up to $26 trillion, we’ll be “cutting millions of young people off from school” and “cutting infant formula to poor kids.”  If we stop subsidizing liberal talk radio that can’t attract a profitable audience at National Public Radio, we’re making an “ideological attack on public broadcasting,” according to Rep. Markey.  When it comes to liberal sacred cows, the only alternative to subsidization is suppression.  There is nothing in between.  Either we provide lavish taxpayer funding for PBS, or we are crushing the dreams of children beneath our jackboots.

The notion that Republicans would by hypocritical to exercise fiscal restraint, because it would result in higher unemployment due to lost government jobs, is equally childish.  Progressives grabbed that money forever when the Obama spending spree began, because any reduction in funding will toss those poor helpless government workers out on their posteriors… and how can they survive in a private sector that will only pay them half as much, on average?  We’ll just have to stay on our present course until every single American works for the government, and makes over $100,000 per year, and then we shall arrive at the gates of Paradise.

The Democrat Party is an organization that expects you to believe ten million kids would never have enjoyed Arthur and his hundreds of books, if Americans had not been compelled to pay for his air time. He’s one of many aspects of American life that cannot be trusted to free people making their own decisions.  If we don’t give the government limitless funding and power to provide for our needs, the result is utter ruin.  Unlike private sector employees, civil servants have a sacred right to their jobs, so putting them out of work via spending reductions would be blasphemy.

Aardvark politics might make sense to very small children, but it’s long past time the adults took charge in Washington.