Attack of the Democrat Lobbyist Legion

President Obama loved to rail against lobbyists during his campaign, claiming “lobbyists won’t find a job in my White House.”  In reality, he’s hired over forty of them for senior Administration positions.  Now, ABC News reports that Democrats have assembled “an army of lobbyists” to “fight back against deep spending cuts.”

ABC got its hands on an email that describes a meeting of over 400 lobbyists, attending a closed-door meeting in response to a “call to arms” from Democrat Senator Tom Harkin of Iowa.  “One thing everyone should be able to agree on now,” wrote Harkin, “is that a rising tide lifts all boats, and that a higher [Labor, Health & Human Services] allocation improves the chances for every stakeholder group to receive more funding.”  A salivating horde of “stakeholder groups” promptly assembled, hungry for taxpayer cash.

“Everyone who was there was desperately concerned and very appreciative of being in a room seeing so many people like them who are also concerned,” a source told ABC News.  Democrats used the meeting to attack House Republicans, warning that “evil House Republicans are here and they’re going to kill all these programs that support little kids, senior citizens, and health care” and “trying to instill the fear of God that Republicans are basically going to blow up all these programs, kill these programs, and defund them.”

You know who wasn’t represented in that meeting?  The American taxpayer.  Appearing on the Laura Ingraham show this morning, Republican Minority Leader Mitch McConnell remembered those forgotten tax serfs, telling Ingraham “you’ve got a lot more listeners than the Democrats have lobbyists, and the American people are expecting us to do this. We are going to give it our best shot.”

Sizing up the Democrat lobbyist legion, McConnell did not shrink from the battle ahead.  “The various interest groups who are vested in this high spending level that we’ve engaged in the last couple of years are certainly going to be heard from,” he said.  “They’ll make their best arguments.  And I think the important thing is for us to resist all of these special interest groups who don’t want us to reduce spending.”  Then he was forced to duck, as a giant mutant lobbyist broke away from the horde and threw a battle axe at him, shaving off the crest from his Spartan helmet.

The Democrat lobbyists swarming before the Hot Gates are only a surprise to people foolish enough to take Obama’s “transparency” and “anti-lobbyist” rhetoric seriously.  For anyone brighter than the average protestor screaming for Clarence Thomas’ blood in front of the Koch Brothers estate in Palm Springs, this is an entirely predictable alignment of forces, leading into the greatest political battle of our lifetimes.