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Global Warming Buries New York Under Snow

If you’re having trouble reading this because your computer monitor is vibrating, I’ve got two pieces of bad news for you.  First, you’re the one bouncing, not the computer.  Second, you’re shivering because you’re buried under two feet of snow.  A record-breaking snowstorm is rolling across the Northeast, bringing white Christmases as far south as Atlanta, Georgia – the first time that’s happened in over a hundred years.  There was significant Christmas snowfall in Columbia, South Carolina for the first time in recorded history.  Air traffic is fouled across the country, trapping thousands of people in airports, where they sleep fitfully in concourses beside fast-food joints that have run out of hamburgers.  Late word has it that some snowbound airports will resume flights this evening.

If it makes you feel any better, global warming fanatics assured us snow was a thing of the past as recently as 2000.  The senior research scientist at the University of East Anglia told the U.K Independent that “children just aren’t going to know what snow is.”  These fanciful assurances were based on anecdotal information – England had just gone through a few seasons with abnormally low snowfall – wrapped in the usual pseudo-scientific gobbledygook and fraudulent statistics.

Rest assured the white stuff blocking your windows is also proof of global warming.  In fact, that’s the title of global warming high priest George Monbiot’s article in the Guardian UK just last week: “That Snow Outside Is What Global Warming Looks Like.” No, it doesn’t make a lick of sense, but that’s the point: “climate change” is a religion, whose witch doctors blame everything on the angry sky gods only they can appease.  If the good people of Columbia had gone another year without a white Christmas, that would have “proved” global warming too.

The primary cause of our monster Northeastern snowstorm is said to be a massive low pressure system off the North Carolina coast.  Weather is a fantastically complex system, which not even experts equipped with state-of-the-art technology can accurately predict only a few days into the future.  No such predictions can be made on anecdotal data, as the global warmists were fond of doing during hot summers in the 1990s and 2000s.  The immediate stuff just gets people’s attention, so the cult can beat them about the head and shoulders with its cooked data and manipulated graphs.

In that spirit, let me take the opportunity of this blizzard to point out that global warming is a hoax, in no small part because its deranged true believers and con-artist leaders offer blizzards as proof it is true.  If you’re caught in this one, please be careful, stay safe, and keep warm.

Written By

John Hayward began his blogging career as a guest writer at Hot Air under the pen name "Doctor Zero," producing a collection of essays entitled Doctor Zero: Year One. He is a great admirer of free-market thinkers such as Arthur Laffer, Milton Friedman, and Thomas Sowell. He writes both political and cultural commentary, including book and movie reviews. An avid fan of horror and fantasy fiction, he has produced an e-book collection of short horror stories entitled Persistent Dread. John is a former staff writer for Human Events. He is a regular guest on the Rusty Humphries radio show, and has appeared on numerous other local and national radio programs, including G. Gordon Liddy, BattleLine, and Dennis Miller.

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