Dear Obama: 5 Ways to Look Tough Without Being Lame

I couldn’t help but grin when I read World Cup referees are studying English swear words so that they can hand out yellow cards if needed.

All they need to do is YouTube the current administration for a crash course in what not to say.

We’ve got President Barack Obama, Vice President Joe Biden, and Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel, who is to the swear word what Webster was to the dictionary.

Of the three, actually, I find Obama’s gaffe most offensive, though his word choice was milder than the others.  He tells Matt Lauer in a broadcast interview that he’s figuring out “whose a%$ to kick” on the BP oil spill. You could tell he was conscious of his word choice when he said it. Pause the video after the words come out of his mouth. No remorse.  

But seriously, this is his idea of appearing tough?  Using a semi-curse word on a morning show? If he wants to look tough, here are a few suggestions…

1. Watch some hockey (like your Stanley Cup Champion Chicago Blackhawks). Maybe play some hockey. Take a blow near the mouth and go pull some of your own teeth out on the bench.  Then go talk to the Iranians.

2. Stop by an NRA event. Better yet, take some target practice at the NRA headquarters nearby.

3. Attend the Memorial Day ceremony at Arlington Cemetery. Don’t just call the honor quits after one year.

4. Work on your fastball. You can’t curse like a professional athlete, and you can’t throw like one, either. I’m sure there are more first pitches in your future. You’ll get a lot more respect if you fix that second problem.

5. As Jimmy Kimmel told you, don’t ever wear these jeans again.

With Emanuel, what you see is what you get. He’s made cursing part of his image. Offensive as it is, he’s consistent. Biden was the culprit of a hot mic when he told Obama that this a big “f-*%&*$” deal when the health care bill was passed. Guilty as charged, but at least he didn’t use bad language in a political, calculating move.  

And don’t try to blame this on George W. Bush, either.  There’s a difference between Obama using “a$%” in a broadcast interview to appear tough and George W. Bush getting picked up by a hot mic a few times. It’s not presidential, but at least Bush didn’t have to use semi-curse words to appear tough.


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