Pamela Anderson to the Rescue

We have seen it all. Far from being shocked by the lack of Hollywood drones jumping in front of TV cameras to make the Gulf oil disaster a cause célèbre, we can now all breathe a sigh of relief, because the silicone starlet is on the case: Pamela Anderson! FRX would like to commend the former "Baywatch" Babe, who is best known for her two giant…brain cells. Last week, while speaking about the Obama oil catastrophe, the brilliant actress and animal rights activist said, “It’s terrible, it’s awful. It feels like it is the end of the world to me.”

Who would have believed that the star of the 1996 cinematic masterpiece, "Barb Wire" would appear on the crisis scene, before perennial celebrity activists like Sean Penn, Brad Pitt, and George Clooney? Nothing inspires the hardy people of the Gulf states more than the notion that any day now, Gov. Bobby Jindal will be receiving assistance by C.J. Parker, running in slow motion across the beaches of Louisiana while adorned in her swimsuit. But Pam won’t be alone, as her "sometimes" boyfriend (and at other times husband and father of her two sons), Mötley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee plans two join her! Pam’s message is clear: She wants no more drilling by British Petroleum, no more drilling by individual states, and no more drilling PERIOD by the federal government. Instead, she and Tommy Lee plan to become the sole provider of energy for the United States of America, and we at FRX say, let’s let them have at it!