Obama's America

Let’s imagine the unimaginable; the America Obama envisions.

Religion and Governance in Obama’s America

Everyone has shredded his or her copies of the Constitution, as it is no longer the rules by which the new America abides.  In the new United States of America, the majority can be found in various works by Saul Alinsky, George Soros and Franklin Marshall Davis, three gentlemen held in much esteem by America’s President-for-Life, Barack Hussein Obama  The rest of the rules of governance for the transformed nation are basically made up as the Obama government goes along.

There is and will be no sign of Christianity or Judaism anywhere in the country; not in schools at any level, not in workplaces, nor in the public squares.  Conversely, there are and will be calls to prayer in every American city to summon our Muslim brethren to their prayers five times a day, and prayer rugs and foot baths are and will be ever present, in our schools, again, at every level, in our public buildings, at airports and in churches of every faith, (just in case).  And because a private entity could probably be sued for hate crimes if they didn’t have at hand such necessary manifestations of the Muslim doctrine, private venues will have them, as well.  There will never again be a word written or spoken about the religion of peace other than apropos to its greatness.  Children of all religions will be required to study the Koran, and the great history of Islam.  Any recognition of Christmas at any time of the year has been prohibited; ditto Hanukah.  Ramadan (and the fasting thereof) will be observed nationally, however, with a now Federally-designated Monday holiday at the end of the religiously-inspired fast.

Education in Obama’s America

In terms of education in the new United States, there is and will no longer be any local or state control over education, again, at all levels, and there will certainly be no parental involvement of any kind.  There are and will be no more religious nor private, (with the exception of Muslim schools, of course), nor charter schools, and all voucher programs have been eliminated.  Every teacher is and will be an employee of the Federal government, and teachers’ unions have greatly multiplied in their strength, with teachers’ benefits packages having grown equally in size and entitlement. The Federal government thus directs all aspects of the education of our children, from curricula and directives created and implemented by uber educator William Ayres, ably assisted by Kevin Jennings, Obama’s Safe Schools’ Czar and well known child-man sex advocate.  Our children will learn lots more catchy Obama ditties, while most physical activity, especially for boys, has been outlawed as potentially unsafe, to be replaced by much healthier and less risky enterprises, such as hula hooping.  Certain other things have been prohibited; e.g., if it is seen by school officials that your child is overweight, the state has the right to remove said child from his or her parents and be placed in the more beneficial care of the state.  There are and will not be found in school cafeterias any meat, sugar, fat nor salt of any kind.  There will be no grades, nor there be schools for special needs’ children, as every child, for self-esteem purposes, will be mainstreamed.  Displaying excellence of any kind is and will be discouraged, again for self esteem purposes for the children who could or would not excel.  Everyone, of course, will graduate, but will, of course, know not much of anything except the musical Obama paeans that they have been forced to memorize.

Taxes and Finance in Obama’s America

Obama’s government has taken over all the banking and finance institutions, not just the ones nationalized at the beginning, so long ago, of our Supreme Leader’s benevolent reign.  The last remaining automobile company in private hands, Ford, has fallen to Federal ownership, thus enabling our government to own the entire American automobile industry, whose unions have grown in strength, enabling all such employees’ pension programs to significantly expand.  All student loans, of course, as they already have been taken over by the government, are and will be directed by bureaucrats, as are and will be the now state-owned mortgage companies in the country. 

The Federal government is the primary employer, by far, in the United States, as the private sector continues to shrink and contract, thus obliterating the majority of obscene profit-taking, formerly the practice in the old America.  Federal regulations have been vastly expanded, thus increasing the amount of taxes needed to fund the activities to take care of 300 million Americans, and will of course come from the private sector.  As these taxes continue to grow, private sector businessmen and women will not be able to afford to continue in their professional efforts.  Nor will they be able to afford the cost of energy in their businesses, due to numerous factors, among them the complete elimination of all destructive sources of energy like coal and fossil fuel, and now no other form of energy is allowed other than wind and solar power.  Another reason for this is the massive taxation imposed by the passage of an enhanced cap and trade legislation, thanks in large part to the efforts of now Senators-for-Life John Kerry and Barbara Boxer.  This latter factor not only has transferred the sovereignty of the United States to a panel of global climate change officials (international bureaucrats, which does actually include several Americans), it also requires that all Americans adapt to internationally determined global standards.  This would determine (as interpreted by a like group of international bureaucrats, this one mostly Belgians, along with a few Zimbabweans and a Libyan) what kind of house we could live in, what kind of car we could drive, how much electricity we could use if we could use it at all, how many children we are allowed to have, what kind of light bulbs we are permitted to install, what kind of television we would be allowed to watch and for how long daily, what we would be permitted to eat and drink, what kind of trash disposal system we would have, and many more such new rules.  There will, of course, no longer be permitted such capitalist frivolities as fur coats, wood-burning fireplaces, lawnmowers or charcoal barbeques.  This last one makes perfect sense, as eating meat has been outlawed and barbequed tofu just never caught on.

Health in Obama’s America

Our health, of course, is and will be taken care of for us from birth to death, thanks to Obama.  The only wrinkle in this is that our President, in fact our Supreme Leader, and those he has chosen to take care of us will determine whether we could be born at all and when it is best for the state when we die.  This is all for our own good, don’t you know?  Private insurance companies have disappeared, and there were established another 2,000 separate bureaucracies (containing mostly Americans!) to enable government officials to determine every aspect of our health care.  All physicians, along with all other health care providers, are and will be employed by the Federal government, and there are no more privately run health institutions in the new United States of America.  These employees have developed a very strong union, and universally excellent pension plans. 

Immigration in Obama’s America

We no longer have national borders, of course.  Obama can legitimately claim that he saved the nation a great deal of money, as the Federal agencies responsible for border and immigration controls have been abolished.  English has been determined to be just one of the languages spoken in our new nation, and those just starting their new lives in the new United States of America are encouraged to hold onto their first language.  This works out just fine, as throughout the country, programs have been established in every level and in every form of the government using most of these other languages, along with the increasingly less-spoken English language. 

Home and Gun Ownership in Obama’s America

Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac have been greatly expanded, and are now heavily funded by the federal government.  And as they are now completely controlled by the government, aspiring private homeownership using any other such institution are discouraged while steps are being taken to do away with private home ownership entirely.

All private gun ownership has been outlawed, of course, as a result of various UN international treaties.  This directive is overseen by a crack special United Nations team, developed for this purpose, which monitors these treaties’ enactment in the new US.  There is some confusion in the enactment of these various treaties in one regard, as it was recently determined that representatives of the Internal Revenue Service now need to carry assault weapons, but that will no doubt be resolved satisfactorily, for the state, of course.

U.S. Military in Obama’s America

The U.S military is no longer a significant force in America, nor throughout the world, as individuals contemplating such enlistment are encouraged instead to join one of the various Obama government-run national service organizations, or the various similar such units under the command of the UN, which has an increasing presence in the United States.  Members of all such organizations wear the easily identifiable and beautifully hued blue beret.

Media and Communication in Obama’s America

We would have the honor of seeing and listening to our beloved Supreme Leader quite often on the airwaves, in fact for a minimum of 6 hours a day. We would also be able to easily access any of his past speeches at any hour of the night or day, and again, in any language.  He would thus be omnipresent, constantly comforting us and reminding us of how wonderful is our new America, and of how grateful we should be that every single aspect of our lives is being seen to by those who know better than we do.  Those left to pay taxes for this new nation, which would be, in truth, considerable, are certainly no longer be able to afford things like 2nd homes, vacations or multiple cars, but worry not, because the seaside villas, country cottages and mansions left empty nationwide, along with the limousines, cruise ships and elegant hotels not being used, will not go to waste.  Our educated classes who are ruling us will make use of the things no longer available to us as their just reward for their constant and vigilant care of every one of us, and in everything we do.

The Fairness Doctrine was restored at long last, finally bringing justice in all forms of communication in our new nation.  You can always find happy groups of children singing wonderful tunes about our S.L., (just about to start his fourth term, Allah be praised), everywhere, on television, the radio (not used much anymore), the Internet (whose content is controlled by a special group created for such purposes at the UN, no Americans in that one), and all other new forms of technological development.  Unfortunately, new forms of technological development are not so much forthcoming anymore, as corporations like Apple and Microsoft, as well as smaller but equally inventive companies, have left the US to avoid the taxes they had been requested to pay to enable our new country to exist in its new maternal form.  The brave ones who stayed at home saw their companies became even more beneficial to the state once they had all been taken over by our brilliant unelected bureaucrats, and all their employees now have excellent pension plans, much better than they had had under private ownership, and their unions are doing great!

Various forms of entertainment, like men and women talking about the politics and/or events of the day, are things of the past, and the now publically controlled television and radio stations broadcast programs that are much more beneficial to American citizens.  Some examples of this programming would be cooking programs specializing in tofu recipes, and hula hoop training.  It is especially gratifying to see things like the Miss America pageant be transformed into something much more worthwhile and Obamaic; i.e., a true scholarship program where beauty (now mandated to be relative nationwide) in the contest has been eliminated, and now the winner is determined in large part by devotion and duty to the state.  The most recent winner was Miss Virginia, a transgender wheelchair-bound bespectacled light-skinned African-American, whose talent was the nearly perfect recitation of a particularly detailed chapter in the aforementioned Saul Alinsky tome, ‘Rules for Radicals.’  Though English was her second language, Ms. Hrigina-Smith spoke it lyrically, and was understood by the majority of people present.

Historical Monuments in Obama’s America

Since one of the many Obama dictums was the abolition of the tax deduction for charitable contributions, many privately-funded institutions were forced to close.  It was originally thought that Mount Vernon, the home of George Washington, who was a slave owner and our first President, (taught in precisely those terms in Obama’s schools), was to be one of these, to the regret of a few in the nation.  This was because the former owner, the solely-privately funded Mount Vernon Ladies’ Association, was forced to close as no more funds were forthcoming after this tax code change was enacted.  But thanks to our Supreme Leader and his benevolent government, Mount Vernon was saved, (Allah be praised), and it has been as transformed as has been our country.  The 18th Century structure, formerly almost of entirely original 18th Century construction, can now accommodate the physically challenged through the installation of several appropriately sized elevators and ramps throughout the house (formerly called the mansion, but that term is no longer used as it has been determined to be classist); and the majority of objects in the museum on the grounds, consisting of items original to the Washingtons, has been removed, sold at a GAO (government General Accounting Office) auction, and replaced with various objects honoring the many slaves of Mt. Vernon owned during the 18th Century by the slave owner, George Washington.  The livestock on the former working farm, some of which were perfect examples of the rare breeds General Washington actually had at Mt. Vernon in the 18th Century, were released from captivity when the estate (term also no longer used: classist) became publically owned, as a result of strenuous objections from the organization formerly known as PETA, which is now the Federal agency, ASS, (the Agency for the Supremacy of the animal Soul).  As there is no longer a profit component at Mt. Vernon, and as the government has determined that reparations are to be perpetually made to descendants of the slaves of Mt. Vernon from the general intake from Mt. Vernon’s attendance revenue, there is some thought being given to constructing a water slide at the end of the tour in order to attract more German tourists.

Gambling has been outlawed in the new United States of America, as the Koran states that gambling is not a permissible practice.  This edict is thought to be responsible for the continued decline and eventual total ruin of the city of Las Vegas, Nevada, a city that was much disliked by the Supreme Leader.

There really have been, and are, governments like this, guided by people and rules like the ones described.  And they all failed.  Every single one of them, as Obama’s new America will fail.  Though that is some solace, it is still nothing but a tragedy for those who love our present America, if Obama and his people succeed.  If they do, the America we know and love, which was entrusted to us by George Washington and the others, will have ceased to exist.  Forever.