Digging Out from Washington Snow Jobs

You’ll be thrilled to know that your nation’s capital is limping back to what passes for normalcy around here, after the second and third biggest snow jobs in Washington, DC, this year.  

Punxatawney Phil proved to have an admirable gift for understatement, but even the First Groundhog couldn’t compete with President Obama, who came out, saw his shadow, and proclaimed 6 more weeks of — are you ready for this? — bipartisanship.  By 6 MORE weeks, I refer to Democratic Party claims that they’d been extremely bi up ‘til now, but, boy oh boy, are they really going to listen to Republicans now.  

No more Mr. Deaf Guy, they’ll be listening, about health care, jobs, the-artist-formerly-known-as-cap-and-trade, and a host of other things. Why, Nancy and Harry are even working toward reconciliation of the health care bills, better known as an end run around the senate’s super-majority rule.  

And it’s only coincidence that the hand-holding to the chorus of Kumbaya comes at the very same time White House spokesman Robert Gibbs chose to mock Sarah Palin by writing “milk, bread, eggs” on his hand at a press briefing. Aside from the ironic twist that this was done in defense of a president who couldn’t adlib a 5 minute civics talk to grade schoolers without a word-for-word teleprompt, it also illustrates just why Democrats are suddenly so anxious to cuddle: They are really scared, and they have really good reasons to be.  

Think back just a few months to the conventional wisdom that, not only had really liberal Democrats finally elected one of their own to the presidency, but they were poised to buck the trend of first-time off-year elections for new presidents going to the opposition party.  Heck, Democrats might even pad their congressional majorities in 2010, thanks in part to the numbers of Republicans retiring, but also to the fact that America had gotten around to producing its own version of Marx’s socialist man.  

By this view, we’d all finally gotten it:  It really was better to let Uncle Sam handle things.  When that guy said, “I’m from the government and I’m here to help you”, you could take it to the bailed-out bank.  

Sorry to disillusion you, libs, but it now seems that your man got in mainly because of the Gross National Temper Tantrum by independent voters in 2008 who now seem to be saying that this wasn’t exactly the change they had in mind.  

There’s a truth here that will push George Soros‘ teeth-gritting into the hazardous range:  There never has been, and likely never will be, a working majority for the leftist agenda in America. There will be the occasional anomaly from unpopular wars and economic downturns, but the democratic socialism that has kept the economies of Western Europe mired in molasses for so many decades just doesn’t get long-term traction here.  

And nothing adds more credibility to Democratic jitters in 2010 than the president’s inability to veer from the central tenets of his world apology tour. Speak contritely and carry a smaller stick seems to be his his perversion of Teddy Roosevelt’s maxim, and it shows up in a lot of places.  

Take the recent Quadrennial Defense Review, which touts the virtue of defending “against demonstrated enemy capabilities and supporting specific missions.” Fine, except it goes out of its way to ignore what it terms hypothetical threats — read that as anything we wish would go away.  

It’s a nasty world out there and this is the wrong crew to be manning the ramparts.  Then there’s the desire to place dangerous Gitmo detainees in the domestic criminal justice system, to “show the world that our system works.”  At one point in defending this, the president referred to “when” defendants are convicted, not “if”, as if the fix was in.

The fact is, the system only works for garden variety domestic crooks, not organized radical fanatics out to kill or convert us all, not just make a quick fast buck.  I’ve interviewed backers of this who are a lot more candid than the president.  I asked one to go back to the 1942 case of Nazi saboteurs who landed on Long Island, New York, were captured, tried by military tribunal, and executed.  Would he have treated these people as domestic criminals, Mirandized them (had those standards existed back then), and then let the judicial chips fall where they may, even on a technicality?  

He replied that he’d have turned them loose to walk out onto the streets of New York and wage more war.  Why are Democrats so justifiably worried this election year?  Because they can’t keep hidden the willingness of their leftwing to cheerfully allow the killing of thousands of Americans if it let the libs go to sleep at night smugly secure in their alleged moral superiority. 

At least the snow storm managed to put better brakes on these agendas than Toyota ever could.  Your nation’s capital is a pretty unique place when it comes to weather.  We have so many snow virgins here, from places like Florida or Somalia, for whom a piece of hard water fluttering to the ground is awe-inspiring.  

This is one of the few places in the country which routinely closes schools on the FORECAST of snow.  If we’re actually socked in, with half an inch of the white stuff, drifts up to three-quarters of an inch, we go into abject panic mode.  There isn’t a bottle of milk or roll of toilet paper to be purchased (are some people pre-soaking their toilet paper?).  If places like Minnesota or Maine applied the same standards to school closings, their kids would all be illiterate.  

The upside is that the same hint of snow which paralyzes education, also slaps the gridlock on the federal bureaucracy, which is forced to make use of a very interesting bit of terminology:  We often hear that “only essential workers need report to work”.  Think about that for a moment.  Yes, it’s cool to get paid to sit on your duff at home, but doesn’t bother it them a little bit that the necessary federal functions continue without them?  Shouldn’t it bother them? 

Of course, there are only so many snow virgins to go around, and even they eventually acclimate to frigid precipitation — until the next election in Florida or the next coup in Somalia sends more snow virgins.  But it’s remarkable how these folks can tie up traffic and grind Washington to a standstill.  

Given all that the party in power has been up to lately, perhaps we should encourage meteorological malaise, and actually organize these people. Give them a website to let them know which parts of the beltway need slowing down at a given moment. They’d need a name, of course.  I propose the ADL:  the Anti-Destination League.