Conservative Comedian Monologue on The State of the Union

I thought the President gave an outstanding speech on Wednesday.  It was clear from the start that he plans do whatever it takes to save jobs.  His…Harry Reid’s…Nancy Pelosi’s…

One thing everyone knows about Obama, he keeps his word.  For example, that talk was what can be called a “shovel-ready job.”

Obama admonished members of his own party not to run for the hills.  Perhaps someone should remind the President that the Capitol is on a hill.  

Obama did say that he “gets” that the people are tired of all the “finger pointing” in Washington and immediately blamed it on the Republicans.

Some commentators suggested afterwards that, rather than supporting the president with applause, Republicans were “sitting on their hands.”  I don’t think so.  I think, after hearing all of Obama’s expensive entitlement plans, they were just holding onto their wallets.

The whole night reminded me of the movie The Wizard of Oz. At center stage, there was Barack Obama who some people consider to be like the Wizard, over his left shoulder was Nancy Pelosi, who some people consider to be like the Wicked Witch of the West, and in the audience was Barney Frank, who some people consider to be like the Wicked Witch of the East.

And for a moment I even thought I saw one of those tree people from The Wizard of Oz.  But it turned out it was just John Kerry.

Even Obama’s speech reminded me of The Wizard of Oz — he built a straw man, had a tin ear and spent the whole talk cowardly lyin’.

Obviously Obama’s speech is going to have to be fact checked, but he did get one thing right, the American people don’t quit.  The problem is, we keep getting laid off.

And the President did take a slap at companies that outsource jobs to people from other countries, which is ironic, ‘cause there are some who are still convinced that’s what we did with the presidency.

I have to admit I was moved by the President’s very apparent high regard for the American people.  So moved, in fact, I almost threw away my guns and chucked my religion.

The President was right to point out that the economy is not all gloom and doom and that some sectors are expected to do quite well in 2010.  Especially those companies that manufacture tar and feathers and pitchforks and torches.

And, even high-tech is doing okay in places.  For example, the TelePrompTer industry, just had its best year ever.

History was made during last night’s speech.  It was the first time in decades Joe Biden went 90 minutes without saying something stupid.

Did you notice that, in the speech, Obama was a bit more conciliatory towards those who don’t share his hysteria over “global warming?”  He had no choice, the Copenhagen conference was such a fiasco, by the end, the only people left in the room were six menopausal women going “Is it hot in here or is it just me?”

Surprisingly, the President failed to tout one of his administrations great accomplishments.  During the campaign he promised to address peoples’ fear of global warming, and one year — and a few leaked memos later — there’s no reason to fear global warming!

I must admit, the President did an outstanding job of closing his talk with an emotional flourish, although I do think he went a bit too far when he ordered the Marine band to replace "Hail to the Chief" with the song “Feelings.”