This Week's Top Jokes From America's Favorite Conservative Comedian

Well, we’re now fully a quarter of the way through the Obama administration and the Democrats are still blaming President Bush for all their failures.  In fact, here in California, Barbara Boxer has proposed a new law to change the name of the San Andreas Fault to “It’s All George Bush’s Fault…”
…Democrats are truly talented people.  It’s amazing how they can point so many fingers while still having their hands out.  All of this while somehow managing to give the American people the finger.
At the end of the first year of his presidency, many Americans are complaining that Obama has failed to keep his campaign promise to be transparent.  I couldn’t disagree more.  Seems to me every day more and more people are seeing right through him.
You know, it might not be Obama’s fault.  Sometimes broken campaign promises are really just misunderstandings.  It’s true., Obama hasn’t been “bi-partisan” but maybe that’s not what he meant.  Maybe he meant that, with things like the Louisiana Purchase and the Cornhusker Kickback, he was planning to buy partisans.
And now that the new year has arrived another of the President’s ultimatums to the Iranians has come and gone with the White House taking no action.  Perhaps, this too is a misunderstanding.  You see, to Republicans, Iran is a noun.  To Democrats, Iran is a verb.
Last week the Presidesnt promised that  “the buck stops” with him on terrorism.  I don’t believe him.  Not just because he’s famously weak on terrorists, but, thanks to the Obama economy, no one has a buck left to pass.
Now the President is planning to try even more terrorists in the United States.  If you think about it, Obama has brought more terrorists to America than Osama bin Laden.
The good news is that the terrorists aren’t very smart.  Like this last guy, who I call the “Eunuch Bomber.”  After all, if I believed I was about to go to heaven and meet up with seventy-two virgins, the last  place I’d put the bomb is in the front of my pants.
And now that Obama has given the terrorists lawyers, you know some Johnny Cochrane-type is going to defend the Eunuch Bomber by saying “If the man can’t sit, you must acquit.”
Meanwhile, referring to Patrick Kennedy’s repeatedly calling Martha Coakley “Marcia,: the headline in the Drudge Report read: “Kennedy Doesn’t Even Know Her Name.”  Come on, give the guy a break.  He’s a Kennedy.  By five o’clock he probably can’t remember his own name.
…and, as the old saying goes, it’s always five o’clock somewhere.
Whichever way the election in Massachusetts turns out, there is one piece of good news.  Never again will any of us have to give a second’s thought to Ted Kennedy’s seat.
Scott Brown has done an outstanding job of fashioning a campaign that attracts the robust conservative activist while giving a nod to the more effete Massachusetts Leftist.  You might say the guy’s been running as a chi tea party candidate.
If things go well in Massachusetts, we’ll be able to tell our grandchildren that “This was the day that taxes stopped their rise and the economy began to heal.”