It Seems a Lot Longer

Harry Truman had a sign on his White House desk that said "The Buck Stops Here." If Barry Obama (BO) decides to place a sign on his desk in the oval office, I recommend he go with something such as "Do Not Point Me at Anything You Do Not Wish to Destroy."

With the exception of me armed with a guitar snarling and howling in Motown delight,
I can’t think of another destructive force on the planet as powerful as BO and his Democratic cohorts in Congress. BO’s list of destruction in the first 100 days of our sentence to be governed by him is staggering.

BO first follows through on a campaign promise and declares we’ll close Guantanamo Bay in a year even though the subhuman debris housed there have much nicer accommodations and conditions than many of our heroic troops serving in Afghanistan and Iraq. He closes it with no plan whatsoever as to what to do with the evil monsters housed there. He then goes about devising a detailed plan to find the perfect dog for his daughters. A man has got to have priorities.

Taking a cue from his upbringing as a Community Rabble Rouser in Chicago, one of his first appointments is admitted tax cheat Tim "The Weasel" Geithner, to run, of all agencies, the Department of Treasury. Perfect Chicago-style politics. Put a thief in charge of money. Is it just me or does The Weasel always have the pained look of constipation on his face? Guilt is difficult to hide even for the shameless.

BO then hires Eric "the Gun Grabber" Holder to be the Attorney General. Black Power’s first act as Attorney General is to imply all white people are racists. BO also appoints the least qualified American to destroy the CIA. What Leon Panetta knows about running covert ops he probably learned while Chief of Staff to Bill Clinton, and it had something to do with a blue dress.

Joe "The Enforcer" Biden glares at anyone who dares condemn BO’s choices. BO claims that no one messes with Joe. Fact is, no one in DC cares about Joe and never has. Rumor has it The Enforcer spends his days tucked away in the West Wing plagiarizing speeches and watching Red Skeleton and Sid Caesar video clips on YouTube.

With the economy taking a hard turn south due to the Democrats failing to provide any oversight of Fanny Mae and Freddie Mac over the years, BO then tries to drive the final stake through the free market’s heart by getting the Fedzilla dopes in his party to go along with a trillion dollar stimulus plan and multi-year trillion dollar deficit spending. Every time BO or The Weasel mentions the economy, the stock market tanks another 300 points.

BO and the Democratic hit squad go after Rush Limbaugh to take the heat off. Limbaugh’s ratings skyrocket and he challenges BO to a debate. BO does not answer the challenge, literally or figuratively. He knows when he’s beaten before the first word is fired his way.

Just to prove "I won," BO and the Fedzilla Reserve give hundreds and hundreds of billions in loans to banks, automobile companies, and AIG. Senator Chris "Countrywide" Dodd lies throughout the entire AIG bonus brouhaha, then supposedly tells the truth, and then listens to his advisors by shutting up and quietly slips off the planet hopefully to never be heard from again.

BO goes on Jay Leno’s show and immediately insults the Special Olympics. Joe "The Enforcer" Biden quietly wonders if BO was referring to him.

BO then heads to Europe where he blames all of the world’s ills on America. Hate America First is his playbook. European nations go ga-ga over that message so they generously agree to send 17 or so more non-combat troops to Afghanistan. BO claims victory while other Americans hang their head in embarrassment. The writers at Mad Magazine surely howl with delight but can’t keep up with the hysterics of BO.

Somewhere along the line BO fires the General Motors Chief Executive. Not a single automobile union worker is canned, proving that the automobile unions, not the stockholders, are in charge of the American automobile companies. The AF of L See I’m Sleeping whines for more coffee breaks.

BO then bows to a Christian-hating Saudi prince and claims America is not a Christian nation. He tells Muslims they have nothing to fear from America (apparently BO does not know we have 2,000 pound smart bombs with IQ scores above his), but the Muslim community does not reciprocate and they tell BO that he and America do not have anything to fear from them even though Christians living in Muslim countries are routinely brutalized and killed by peace-loving Muslims.

Department of Homeland Insecurity boss, Janet "The New Queen of Mean" Napolitano, issues a report that says veterans, gun owners, and all conservatives need to be watched extra closely because they do not spread palm leaves in front of BO’s limousine as he drives by. While the New Queen of Mean is issuing baseless reports, a couple of hundred thousand Americans protest BO’s gigantic spending spree on April 15. David "Axe Man" Axelrod, a BO tough guy in the White House who obviously despises the 1st Amendment (and the Second, among others) says the protests are "unhealthy."

BO leaves the country and finds himself shaking hands with Hugo Chavez, one of the world’s most egregious America-haters. Chavez gives BO a book on how to hate America in twelve easy steps. BO smiles.

And all in a 100 day heartbeat. If this is kind of hope and change you wanted, you will get plenty more of it. And then the bill will come and we can all play dumb.

Has it only been 100 days? It seems like years. And just think about this: we’re in for another three years and 265 days of this unless some Republicans get a spinal transplant. Can someone please send them a few thousand bottles of testosterone pills?