Fedzilla Goes Quack

Legendary comedian George Carlin once joked that someone in the world has an appointment tomorrow with the world’s worst doctor.

With President Obama ready to unleash Fedzilla to prey upon the nation’s health care system, the American people may soon find Mr. Carlin’s joke not so funny.

The first rule of medicine is to do no harm to the patient. With Fedzilla as the nation’s doctor, that rule will be tossed aside as Fedzilla brings irreparable harm, unnecessary pain, skyrocketing costs, and untold discontent to everything its bloated, unaccountable bureaucratic hands come into contact with.

Amazingly, the stooges who bitterly complained about the slow response of Fedzilla to Hurricane Katrina are the same morons who are clamoring for Fedzilla to take over the nation’s health care. If you are one of these terminally dumb logic-challenged buffoons, please do America a favor and do not breed.

As I wrote in my common sense, bulldozer of truth book "Ted, White and Blue," you do not have a "right" to health care, but rather a personal responsibility for it. From my vantage point, too many Americans obviously do not care about their health but have the unmitigated audacity to want someone else to pay for their health care damage control. That attitude is soulless, irresponsible and un-American. I am not of the same species as these bloodsuckers.

According to every health study I can find, the vast majority of health maladies are easily preventable, especially the choice of obesity. The Surgeon General estimated obesity kills 300,000 Americans annually and cost the economy over $100 billion in 2000. The ugly truth is that America is the most obese nation on earth which leads to poor health and the tremendous cost of health care. Obesity is a choice, not a disease.

The results are irrefutable: a good diet coupled with a routine exercise regime is the best preventive medicine to combat cancer, heart disease, diabetes, and many other health complications. Moreover, according to, preventable illness constitutes approximately 80% percent of all illnesses and a whopping 90% of all health care costs! They further state that preventable illness accounts for eight of the nine leading categories of death.

Clearly, the health care "crisis" has much more to do with personal responsibility than, according to President Obama, "the crushing costs of health costs." Dr. Nuge’s "just what the doctor ordered" advice is that Americans could easily and dramatically reduce the cost of health care by simply using their heads, caring, and taking proper care of themselves. But that would require individual accountability and responsibility, two characteristics that appear to be quickly becoming extinct in certain segments of America. This is the real crisis that president Obama and his goon squad of bureaucrats refuse to do a damn thing about.

Americans — at least those who still cherish liberty and individual responsibility — should stand firm against the Fedzilla’s Dr. Quack mandated voodoo potion that will be more expensive, less responsive to individual health needs, reduce America’s medical research and development and create any number of inefficiencies due to Fedzilla’s bureaucratic meddling.

If Republicans are savvy and smart they will work overtime to beat President Obama to the health care punch and offer America a free market solution. This will require dynamic, bold and creative leadership or George Carlin’s joke will no longer be funny. It will be reality.