The Church of England Invests in Al Gore

Pravda means Truth in Russian and  — on Sunday the 11th of January — Matt Drudge ran a Pravda story  in which the old Soviet  — now “free press” — outlet proclaimed that “Earth is on the brink of an ice age.” It must be true, by definition.

This headline followed a week of interesting weather news in Europe.  The fountain in London’s Trafalgar Square froze over, as did Bembridge Harbor off the Isle of Wight.  Thursday the 8th of January was the coldest day in Britain for seven years.  The head of the state owned energy supplier in France warned of power shortages if the cold snapcontinued.  Russia chose this frigid week to turn down the natural gas pipeline to Eastern Europe.

The cold weather was blamed for six deaths in Poland and Germany. In the Netherlands, government ministries and multinational firms gave employees a day off last Thursday so they could all go skating across that nation’s frozen canals and lakes. An estimated 2.3 million people did just that.  In northern Italy, motorways were closed after 60 hours of incessant snowfalls.  Snow fell on the palm trees in Marseille, the southern most French Mediterranean port.  Further south, a freak snowstorm shut down Madrid’s airport and so on and so on.  In a nutshell, evidence of the ice age was omnipresent.

All of this came to pass during the first week of January when Vaclav Klaus, President of the Czech Republic — and highly visible global warming skeptic — took over the rotating Presidency of The European Union for his six month term.  News doesn’t get any more ironic than this…. Or does it?

Well it does if you are reading about the investment portfolio of the Commissioners of The Church of England.  Last September, this 33 member aggregate body  – made up of notable COE clergy and assorted esteemed lay people   – voted to place  £150 million  (or  $225 million) into the hands of Generation Investment Management.

GIM is the “boutique management” firm founded by Al Gore and run by his  managing partner, David Blood. This pairing is widely known in the financial world as “Blood and Gore.”  The GIM entity has also now been christened “The Carbon Empire,” a painful blow to those who remember the old British Empire where — over the weekend — the government backed an EU policy suggestion that plasma TVs should be banned because they are energy hogs. 

Meanwhile, as in the US, those damnable “energy saving” compact fluorescent light bulbs are now being forced into people’s homes in the United Kingdom, despite irrefutable evidence that the amount of mercury these bulbs contain requires a hazmat clean-up if broken. They also can cause seizures and migranes. Curiously, a former Labour Party minister, Lord (Joel) Barnett, now known as Lord Light Bulb, now finds himself in a bright entrepreneurial spot.   In the mid 1990’s, he created a company that specializes in toxic mercury bulb handling.  

The Mercury Recycling Group already holds exclusive and lucrative contracts with schools and local authorities and literally stands to clean up when all incandescent bulbs are completely phased out by 2011.  The Environment Department is instructing individuals to carefully take their burned out bulbs to — what else — government approved operations, most of which will be run by Mercury Recycling. Lord Light Bulb’s company also could be looking at governme nt funded bounties if its employees snitch on citizens with outlawed plasma screens in their sitting rooms.

Now, if   you are still suffering from an irony deficiency, here’s a supplement. Turns out these toxic low-energy bulbs are incompatible with half of all lamps and fixture sockets in British homes. Nor do they work with dimmer controls. This news — presented in a report by The Department of Environment, Food, and Rural Affairs — prompted millions of consumers to brave last week’s freezing temperatures in order to empty the stocks of traditional bulbs from the shelves of   several major retailers.  Even so, their choices were limited.  150-watt bulbs were withdrawn from sale in Britain last year.  The 60 watter will be banned beginning in 2010.  

This suggests that while the UK economy endures a recession, the populace faces either sitting in the dark, or in very bright fluorescently lit rooms, watching old black and white tellies they had kept for their potential value as collectible antiques if the road show ever came to their towns. Sales of Gin and Tonic are bound to soar under these conditions.

In the days leading up to Christmas, five Anglican Bishops accused the Labour government of being morally corrupt and insensitive to the poor, but they seem to have said nothing, on the record, as regards the Church of England’s significant investment  in what has been called Al Gore’s massive Ponzi Scheme.  The Church Commissioners might have done themselves a service by reading the August 2008 and August 2007 issues of  the Capital Research Center’s  ( publication, Foundation Watch.   Both take Al Gore to the proverbial woodshed, assessing his activities as means to benefit his own ends first and foremost.

The bottom line for GIM investors depends on   politicians continuing to legislate insane policies on the pretext of   keeping everything green. That will insure that Blood and Gore will see the green keep rolling into their corporate accounts from the woefully misinformed and foolish.

Several questions come to mind.   Does The Church of England risk going bankrupt if Pravda is right about the new Ice Age?  Will people stop going to church entirely if there is no heat?  Cold hard pews are hard to fill.  Does all of this portend a new cliché?   What happens when Heaven freezes over?