Obama Not Connected, But All His Friends Are

The FBI arrested yet another corrupt Chicago politician yesterday, Illinois Governor “Hot” Rod Blagojevich.  This makes two corrupt governors in a row to be arrested for felonies committed in office — and it solidifies Chicago, Ill. as the most corrupt city in America, narrowly edging out New Orleans.  Also arrested was corrupt Chicago politician and Blagojevich Chief of Staff John Harris.  The two are accused of attempting to “auction off” Barack Obama’s vacated Senate seat to the highest bidder from the corrupt Chicago political scene.  An unknown number of other corrupt Chicago politicians and staffers are also under investigation.

Wow!  It’s a good thing America didn’t just elect a longtime Chicago politician to be the next President of the United States.

Oh…wait, that’s just what we did.  That’s why Obama’s Senate seat was vacant and available to be auctioned off to some lucky cash-and-carry Democrat contender.  Oh well, I’m sure that The Sacred Dalai Obama is not connected to this scandal or Blagojevich in any other way. Very reassuring was Obama’s claim Tuesday that "I had no contact with the governor or his office and so we were not, I was not, aware of what was happening."

The only problem is that one of Obama’s senior advisors, David Axelrod (a former advisor to Blagojevic) went on Chicago TV on November 23 and said definitively regarding Obama’s communications with Blagojevich on whom might acquire Obama’s Senate seat: "I know he’s talked to the governor and there are a whole range of names many of which have surfaced, and I think he has a fondness for a lot of them."

This statement was allowed to stand unchallenged for over two weeks until corrupt Chicago politician Blagojevich was indicted and fellow Chicago politician Obama denied having even spoken to Blagojevich regarding the minor matter of who the next Senator from Illinois might be.  I mean, why would Obama even care who sits in the Senate or inherits much of Obama’s state political machine?  

After Obama’s truthy claim was found to be in conflict with Axelrod’s recorded TV interview statement, however, Obama advisor (and former advisor to Blagojevich) Axelrod issued a statement suddenly remembering that "I was mistaken when I told an interviewer last month that the President-elect has spoken directly to Blagojevich about the Senate vacancy. They did not then or at any time discuss the subject."

Oh good.  That seems believable, especially since there are no other known connections between the Obamessiah and corrupt Chicago politician Blagojevich.  It’s not like Obama was one of the architects of Blagojevich’s election to the Governor’s office.  Oh, wait… according to Obama’s incoming Chief of Staff, Chicago politician Rep. Rahm Emanuel, Obama, an unnamed aide to Blagojevich, Emanuel, and Blagojevich’s campaign chair David Wilhelm were the four generals behind Blagojevich’s election victory. Emanuel stated that Obama and he "participated in a small group that met weekly when Rod was running for governor. We basically laid out the general election, Barack and I and these two."

This statement went unchallenged for months until corrupt Chicago politician Blagojevich was indicted and Chicago politician Obama denied even knowing who the governor of Illinois was.  At that point, Chicago politician Rahm Emanuel (an advisor to both Obama and corrupt Chicago politician Blagojevich) suddenly remembered that he was mistaken.  Apparently, Emanuel misremembered he and Obama having had major roles in a successful political campaign to elect the sitting governor of Illinois.  It will probably turn out that Obama and Emanuel had once just played a heated game of “Risk” with Wilhelm and Blagojevich and Emanuel left thinking he was a “top strategist” for Blagojevich.

Well, at least there are no other connections between Obama and Blagojevich.  You know other than corrupt Chicago politician Blagojevich endorsing Obama when, in 2004, Obama won the nomination for the Senate seat now in question.  No word on if he won it in a raffle or on eBay.  Other than that, there is precious little connection between the two.  

Except… for Antoin “Tony” Rezko.  Rezko was a major fundraiser for both Blagojevich and Obama and in a remarkable coincidence was recently convicted of… let’s see, what was it?  Oh yeah: Bribery.  Seems he would funnel money to politicians (in Chicago) and then get favors from them that he would sell to those needing state contracts and such.  Like in 2004, he raised $250,000 for Barack Obama’s Senate campaign and in 2006 he bought a vacant lot beside Obama’s house and subdivided it at cost to enlarge Obama’s property, and in return he got… nothing, according to Barack Obama.  This appears to be the one instance in Rezko’s back scratching career of profiting from corrupt Chicago politicians that he just gave away a bunch of money for fun.  I really believe it.  You should too.

Anyway, other than all that, you can be assured that corrupt Chicago politician Blagojevich and Chicago politician Barack Obama have nothing else in common.  Except for being close allies of and recipients of funds from Chicago politician and Illinois Senate President Emil Jones.  Oh, and they also share another aide, Michael Strautmanis, who is headed to the White House with Obama.  Oh, and… well anyway, the important thing is that Obama is a different kind of Chicago politician.  

It’s not like he would make appointments to high office in exchange for political favors or fundraising.  If that were the case he would name a cabinet and staff full of the established old time politicos that run the Democrat Party — people that might have done him favors in the campaign or might do him favors in the future.  No, he is a candidate of change — “Change You Can Bid On”.  Oops, I mean “Change you Can Believe In.”

Did I mention that Blagojevich’s campaign for Governor (of which Obama was not really an architect or strategist) ran on a message of change and reform?  Yeah, there’s no connection there at all.