Parson Mac's Muse: Super Blooper Trooper

Wherein “Bloops” Biden hits the Canned Pain Trail with his very own gaffe track!

It says a lot about a man
His own non compos mentis
That when he needs his feet worked on
He goes to see his dentist
Yesterday, yanked off the trail
(And not a moment sooner!)
The only man that makes Dan Quayle
Sound like William Buckley, Jr.

Now, we might think that super-gaffes
Might create some campaign stupor
But we mustn’t underestimate
THIS Super-Blooper-Trooper!
For he has powerful allies in
All the major media
Despite his Guinness World Record for
Entries in Gaffepedia

Surreal, the double standards here
And the hypocritic factor
Had Palin said one-tenth this stuff
ALL the media would have whacked her
They’d have questioned her intelligence
The size of her I.Q.
And Chris and Keith and Katie
Would have carped, “She has no clue!”

They’d have shot her num’rous times by now
With their danquaylizer gun
And unleashed the dogs of journal war
To savage her for fun
And had McCain bid Mr. Graham
To “Stand right up there Chuck!”
The printed Times from coast to coast
Would still be raking muck*

It seems to me, where “Bloops” Biden blew it
Re: 1929
Is not so much that FDR
Was on T.V. his first time
But how leaders inspire confidence
(Now let’s hear an AMEN shout!)
Is when they show, they really know
What the heck they’re talking about!!! **

Alas’… the verbal straw that broke
The campaign camel’s back
Was the “Mark my words!” remark which pledged
Some crisis or attack
For once, the man may well be right
(Though, to admit it is a pain)
So… to avert this national crisis we should…

…vote for John McCain?!?

*Watch Biden gaffe #1

**Watch Biden gaffe #2

Cartoon by Brett Noel