Tensions are building and tempers are shortening in newsrooms across America as everyone waits for “The Revelation,” known in calmer election years as the announcement of the presidential nominee’s running mate. Obama has reportedly selected his VP, but no one knows when The Revelation will occur.
One completely unreliable source told HUMAN EVENTS that there will be no Revelation until conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh has gone off air for the weekend.
We, as members of the scribbling class, respectfully ask Sen. Barack Obama to consider hard-working Americans and announce his running mate immediately so that we can proceed with our weekends.
Rockbama opens in Denver on Monday, and we need time to rest up before then.
Next week’s Caption Contest, like many more important things, is dependent on The Revelation and will be put on hold until the fateful text message (the means of communicating The Revelation) arrives.