Sheep in Sheep's Clothing

Similar to communism, socialism, fascism, and religious voodooism, liberalism is a political cancer designed to control you, not liberate you. Liberalism is based upon the theory that government—and lots of it–knows better than you what is best for you. Liberals believe you are too stupid to make wise decisions for yourself.

The entrenched liberal paradigm is to grow and sustain Fedzilla, the amorphous blob that is gobbling up more and more of our tax dollars and in the process, becoming more and more unresponsive and unaccountable to its employers—you and me, the American taxpayer.

No one who’s smarter than a two-week old puppy seriously believes Fedzilla is a paragon of efficiency or respects the best interest of the American people. A recent poll indicated the Pelosi-led congress has the lowest approval rating in history. Deservingly so, I might add.

For example, the Pelosi-led stumblebum Congress just recessed for a five week, taxpayer paid summer vacation without passing an energy bill, thereby continuing to make America more dependent on foreign energy. Do you get five weeks of paid summer vacation for doing a bad job? Didn’t think so.

Even with liberals and their embarrassingly fat and ineffective pet Fedzilla continuing to harm and weaken America, some political hacks believe liberals will pick up seats in the House of Representatives and the Senate this fall.

A substantial part of the reason Fedzilla supporters stand to pick up these seats and potentially capture the White House is because conservatives have failed to either act like conservatives or have abandoned conservative principles in favor of moderate positions. Unfortunately, that’s largely true.  And it’s a big mistake.

In order to get their conservative mojo working again, what conservatives on Capitol Hill need is a figurative slap upside their head with an oil-soaked 2×4 from the not so mean streets of common sense America. I wallpaper and carpet-bomb the media on a daily basis with my loving crowbar of truth and logic. I do what I can. Uncle Ted to the rescue.

First things first. I want a conservative to write a bill to move tax day from April 15 to the Monday before Election Day in November. Liberalism might not sell so well when people have to pay for it the day before they vote.  In addition, conservatives should advance a bill that instead of having our income taxes and Social Security taxes removed from our paychecks each week, Americans should get to keep all of it and then have to write one big check each year on the day before elections. Term limits anyone? How about some tax cuts and reductions in government spending?

Speaking of laws, for every new law passed how about Congress should have to repeal ten other laws? At the rate these guys pass nonsense, they’d have things cleaned up pretty well in about one year.  The #1 conservative goal must be to reduce the appetite of Fedzilla. Eliminating outdated, overreaching laws will help tame the beast.

Continuing on with laws, I want to see a conservative write a law that states that no bill can be more than ten pages long, double-spaced, 12 pitch and written at the 12th grade level. Efficiency often begins with simplicity.

Conservatives should develop an energy plan to make America energy independent within ten years. If we could put a man on the moon 40 years ago with less computing power than what a kid has in an iPod today, we can become energy independent if conservatives make it a priority. Failing to do this should lead to the second American Revolution. I’ll lead the charge. I’ve had a bumper crop of crowbars this year so far.

Permanently eliminate the death tax. There is nothing more evil, more morally despicable than the ugly death tax. It is an outrage and conservatives must work overtime to make the death tax permanently extinct.

Conservatives should commission a panel of private industry representatives to do a top to bottom review of Fedzilla for the purpose of identifying cost savings by transferring Fedzilla agencies and departments to the private sector, whose goal is to be efficient so that profits are maximized.

Regardless what the Fedzilla supporters write and pass, conservatives should put forth a separate balanced budget each year.

Conservatives must work hard to destroy the current burdensome, complicated tax system and replace it with a simpler, fairer system.

Conservatives should put forth a plan to reduce the overall size of the federal government by 6 ½% each year for next four years so that within four years the size of the federal government is reduced by 25% percent. Tax cuts without reducing spending are meaningless. The savings will be used to pay off our ten trillion dollar debt.

In order to save and ultimately eliminate Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security, conservatives will immediately advance a plan to institute means testing and begin privatizing the other components of these programs. Conservatives will advance a bill every year until it is passed to allow young workers to opt out of Social Security. After all, our social security joke is anti-social and insecure.

Conservative should identify at least one billion dollars each week of taxpayer dollars that are being wasted and issue a press release identifying the waste and those Fedzilla supporters who passed it.

Conservative congressmen should stand on the steps of the Capitol and pledge to the American people that they will no longer request or take any earmarks or other pork barrel dollars.

Most importantly, conservatives must routinely remind Americans that they are responsible for their station in life and that they must rely on themselves for their health and retirement, not Fedzilla programs.

Socialism sucks. Say it loud and proud America. Cut Fedzilla down to size before it smothers us.