Al Gore, International Man of Madness

Australian doctors have published in a medical journal the case of a 17-year old held for observation, suffering the first observed case of “climate change delusion phenomenon” (CCD). It seems that he suffered from fears that “due to climate change, his own water consumption could lead to days to the deaths of millions of people through exhaustion of water supplies.” This particular product of modern education techniques “was referred to the inpatient psychiatric unit at Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne with an eight-month history of depressed mood…He also…had visions of apocalyptic events.” Where ever would he get such an idea?

OK, this is where it gets uncomfortable, but…first observed case? Sure, and I just swerved from the first observed case of road rage. Good grief, you could have padded the walls at last year’s Nobel Peace Prize award ceremony. Bring the giant butterfly nets to any college campus, and call avant garde “artist” Cristo to surround the European continent in bubble wrap, stat, because this mania long-ago reached epic proportions. Better late than never, and all that. But please tell me the difference between this kid and Al Gore?

That’s a trick question, of course: Gore, too, thinks the child’s individual consumption could trigger immediate global catastrophe (but his own gluttony is not at all relevant). Or, possibly, Gore presents the first observed case of cognitive dissonance in a liberal? Hmm. Not that either.

Hopefully the young man will be released before autumn so he may gavel the next UN General Assembly into session, or at least in time for Senate confirmation hearings.

After all, Senator Barack Obama has vowed that his election would mean stopping the rise of the tides (rising since the end of the last ice age, btw). Who better to wield the broom on Obama’s behalf than this lad? One of the most active global warming alarmists in the United States Congress is Sen. John McCain, who for years told of his conversion following a sit-down with a kid in a penguin suit who had been heckling McCain in New Hampshire. I don’t know if this meets the nascent DSM for Climate Change Delusion, but to be safe by all means keep this man away from Disneyland. What havoc Goofy, Donald and Mickey could wreak on the 100-day agenda! Hopefully the ensuing treaty will at least respect the Magic Kingdom’s strict banking secrecy laws in return for our promise to whistle while we work.

That the shrinks recognize this madness is a nice twist. Especially considering that some pols have actually argued that global warming skeptics might, with sufficient commitment, be vulnerable to cure. The new diagnosis comes just as the academic Left lectures us in the manner used in “re-education” camps of old. (The Soviets used them, one step away from the Gulag.) A German colleague of mine tells of the scientist near his own hometown who received the, ah, invitation to come spend some time with the state’s doctor. This was in eastern Germany of course, but after the Wall fell. Apparently his objection to the greens’ agenda led to deep concern over the poor dear’s well-being.

So — with any luck — the shrinks recognizing the malady of falling prey to hysterical prophesying, a resistance to the fashionable doomsday cult of global warming could actually be labeled therapeutic. The rest of the lab-coat gang could surely take a lesson, as Big Science has risked its place in our society by mendaciously promoting hysteria about catastrophic Man-made global warming. Its well-deserved downfall borne of this corruption would ultimately prove a disservice to us all.

Consider the global nature of the illness Big Science has unleashed. Last November UN Secretary General Ban Ki Moon described the more extreme computer model projections of the future as even scarier than science fiction movies, “because they are real”. Yeah… Earlier, Germany’s then-Environment Minister Jurgen Trittin wrote how Americans were causing their “land and the world economy … natural catastrophes like Katrina” because we don’t adopt the preferred lifestyle agenda Europe has in mind for us.

At about the same time, a cry for help in the form of a “we told you so!” resolution circulated in the European Parliament. It expressed sympathy for the Rita and Katrina storm victims as prelude to an absurd lecture how the long-predicted impacts of global warming had now come true, in that poor populations living in low-lying coastal areas bore the brunt of severe weather. Because, you know, before Man-made global warming the poor living in low-lying coastal areas used to stare happily overhead as severe weather proceeded inland to strike wealthy highlanders.

I’d say a 42 extra-long, worn backward with the sleeves tied at the back should suffice while they catch their breath.

Closer to home, the dean of resource economists, Yale’s William Nordhaus, estimates the cost of projected climate change to be $22 trillion. This seems to overstate the bad and ignore much of the good that a slightly warmer, wetter world would bring, but let’s go with it. Al Gore wants us to spend $34 trillion on his lifestyle agenda in order to bring that cost of climate change down to $10 trillion, for a total tab of $44 trillion leaving us precisely twice as bad off as we purportedly would be. Again, this presumes the truth of everything he says and that somehow by reducing Man’s CO2 emissions — which have risen dramatically in recent years while the planet cools just as dramatically — would actually make things cooler still.

So one guy advocates burning down your — our — house out of precaution given that one day the air conditioning might not work, and wins an Oscar and Nobel; his teenaged groupie gets locked up.

No, he’s not the first one to lose it over “global warming.”