Hillary Fright Night

Halloween is that special time of year when we celebrate our ancient and irrational fears –zombies, vampires, werewolves, monsters, ghosts and the undead. At least that’s what it was before Hollywood turned it into a holiday to glorify murder, gore, torture, sadism and the other sadly mundane evils of mankind.

I greatly prefer the Halloween of my youth — a nice combination of a children’s carnival and a good ghost story. But in the spirit of the modern perversion of Halloween, let’s take a moment to focus on one of the scarier possibilities of human evil — Hillary Clinton becoming the next President of the United States just 12 months from now.

President Hillary offers us a true nightmare scenario — the return of the Clinton administration’s rogue’s gallery of bad characters and steady triangulation leftward, without any of the personal skills of Bill Clinton. Nope, this is going to be bad policy, bad personnel and bad personality all at once.

Now that’s scary. That’s the coming prospect of “Hill-o-ween” — a 4 to 8 year curse filled with a host of political poltergeists and technocratic terrors. Here are just a few of Hillary’s haunts and horrors to consider this coming fright night…

Dr. Federal-stein — The government, the same people that brought you the DMV, the tax code and have been responsible for the rapid technological advancement of the school bus, will now be in charge of your health care in the name “universal coverage” and reform. What happened to “keep your laws off my body” — or is that just a cry of freedom for those wanting an abortion? Unable to take control of the health care system in one fell swoop back in the Clinton’s first reign in 1992, Hillary now has her sights set on piecemeal creep of central control in the health care sector.

Health care is expensive, so Hillary proposes to have that noted efficiency expert, Congress, get more involved. Innovation is needed, so Hillary will have that noted catalyst to change, bureaucracy, whip things into shape (just as soon as your paperwork is approved by the central processing facility.) And patients need their rights respected, so Hillary wants to turn things over to that great protector of civil liberties and individual needs, the State Monopoly. Frightening.

Miss Judge — Hillary has, by many accounts, already made one appointment to the Supreme Court, Ruth Bader Ginsberg. An ACLU radical now sits on the highest court in the land for life, attempting to issue law from the bench. It is only a wobbly 5-4 conservative/moderate majority that stops this from occurring constantly. With a President Clinton, part 2, we will get a Ruth Bader Ginsberg, part 2 and probably part 3. Bye, bye, rule of law. Hello rule of lawyers. Terrifying.

Night of The Longstockings — Sandy “The Sanitizer” Berger (AKA the Pant-a-loon AKA Bill’s Sock Puppet AKA Redactula) plead guilty to stealing classified documents from the national archives, the purpose of which had to be to hide from the 9/11 Commission some unknown embarrassment to the Clintons. The man actually admits using his special access as a member of the Clinton administration to enter the national archives, then stuff secret government records into his socks and pants and smuggle them out for destruction. Not only is Berger corrupt and nefarious, but he is incompetent — archive employees witnessed some his bungled thefts and alerted authorities.

Hillary Clinton announced just two weeks ago that Sandy Berger has been rehabilitated and is now a national security advisor to Clinton’s campaign. If there was any doubt who Berger was protecting when he stole and destroyed evidence, it was removed by this appointment. When John Kerry found out what Berger was accused of doing, he fired him as an advisor from his campaign. Now that he’s pled guilty, Hillary wants to get him back into the White House with a new security clearance. Horrifying.

The Undead Amnesty for the “Undocumented” — Much like Sandy The Sanitizer, there are 12-20 million illegal aliens in the country that just can’t seem to find what they did with those darned documents, and Hillary has a job for them too — voting for her as soon as possible. Unlike dimmer politicians, such as George Bush, the Clintons realize that unskilled, uneducated, unassimilated law-breakers are a core constituency for the Democrat party. That’s why they arranged for mass swearing-in ceremonies for aspiring citizens before the 1996 and 2000 elections — without a lot of regard for little things like eligibility and criminal records. If you think Bush pushed hard for amnesty, wait for the Clinton’s to get a second shot at it — or just elect John McCain for that matter. Chilling.

Hillary’s Foreign Legion (of illegal donors) — Whether it’s giant donations from Chinese busboy strawmen, a Pakistani businessman on the run from the FBI, officers of foreign corporations, or Buddhist monks who may have taken a vow of poverty but can all write big checks on the same day for the same candidate, the Clinton/Gore/Clinton fundraising machinery always seems to be returning illegal foreign donations they accidentally accepted — or at least accidentally got caught accepting. But don’t worry, I’m sure the unknown sources of all these laundered donations have America’s best interests at heart and do not expect anything in return for the money. Spooky.

The Creature That Just Won’t Die! — Bush Clinton Clinton Bush Bush Clinton Clinton. Why did we fight the Revolution again? Oh yeah, to rid ourselves of a detached hereditary ruling elite. So why has every presidential ticket since 1980 contained a Bush or a Clinton? I’ll make a deal with liberals right now. You stop nominating Clintons, and we’ll stop nominating Bushes. I’ve had enough. Unnerving.

The Incredible Two-Headed Monster — 2 for 1 isn’t just Bill Clinton’s idea of a good weekend “pressing the flesh” at a home for wayward dancers. It’s also what he says America will get when it elects one Clinton. Whether or not you want him or her, you get the other one’s invaluable opinions and circle of political cronies as well. Petrifying.

Taxula, The Bloodsucking Parasite — The Clintons love to promise free stuff from the government — and that costs money! Where will it come from? Well, let’s see — rich folks have lawyers and campaign donations to protect their assets. Poor people don’t have assets. So that leaves us dolts in the middle class to take it in the assets. Sphincter puckering.

The Exploited Children of the Corn — Hillary knows that “It Takes A Child to Raze a Village,” that’s why every power grab she advocates is done to protect children. Hillary’s so dedicated to children, there’s no end to the amount of power she needs to protect them. She has to take over health care for them, increase education budgets for them, raise taxes for them, expand services for them, take control of economic planning for them, and if they’ve already been born, she needs to protect the right to tax payer funded, anonymous drive-through abortion for them. Shuddersome.

Pardon Me, The Discount Store — Remember the last hours of the Clintons’ first reign — how justice was auctioned off to the highest bidder and pardons were issued to all sorts of undeserving scum, such as Marc Rich, a federal fugitive that made millions trading illegally with Iran while it held the American hostages, then evaded millions in taxes, renounced his citizenship and fled to Switzerland? Did you like that? What do you think will be different when the Clintons are back in the White House for the third term? Repellant.

Who needs Freddy Kruger and Leatherface? If you want to truly be scared this Halloween just look at were America is mindlessly headed back to in 2008.

Happy Hilloween!