You're too Dumb for Doughnuts

Americans love freedom and choice, so why does our government keep taking it away? Well, it’s for our own good. We are too dumb, ignorant, greedy, fat and lazy to make the right choices for ourselves, so politicians have to make the choices for us.

It’s gotten so bad that government is now telling 85-year-old seniors that they can’t have doughnuts. Senior centers in Putnam County, New York, used to receive free donations of doughnuts and other baked goods. County officials have now banned the evil pastries.  They were concerned that the high-calorie, fatty, delicious treats would worsen some of the seniors’ health problems. They did it for the seniors.

Joe Hajkowski is 75 years old.  He got so mad about the cradle-to-grave doughnut-protection program that he organized a protest.  His fellow seniors carried signs reading, “They’re Carbs, not Contraband,” and “We’re Old Enough to Choose.”  He told me on my radio show that one of the women denied a doughnut is 104. Maybe if she eats carrots from now on she’ll live to be 105. 

The county officials now say it’s more than just a health issue,: it’s a food security issue.  They aren’t sure they can transport the food safely.  Quick, call Homeland Security!  It’s a doughnut emergency.

Joe doesn’t even eat doughnuts very often, but that’s not the point.  He’s upset that the government is telling him what he can eat.  “We’re playing bingo, having dances, we’re having computer classes,”  Hajkowski said, “but we aren’t smart enough to make a choice over a doughnut?”

Joe’s lucky he doesn’t live in New York City, where they’ve banned transfats in all foods, no matter how old you are.  More cities and states are pushing similar legislation to protect us from the food we choose to eat.

It’s not just the food you eat that the government wants to choose for you.  If John Edwards has his way you will be forced to go to the doctor even if you feel perfectly fit.  Mandatory preventive care is a big part of his universal health care proposal.  “It requires that everybody be covered.  It requires that everybody get preventive care,”  Edwards told supporters.  He said women would be required to get mammograms.  Hmm, I wonder how you enforce that?  How would you like to be the cop who rounds up healthy women and forces them to have their breasts squished by a machine? 

Hillary Clinton is not to be outdone by Edwards.  Her healthcare plan also includes mandatory coverage.  Young healthy people may choose not to buy health insurance now for very good reasons, but they won’t have that choice under President Hillary.  She’s even suggested that one day you might have to show proof of health insurance in order to get a job.  She calls this forced coverage the American Health Choices Plan.  Nice. My choice is to keep people out of the White House who want to increase my taxes to pay for the government’s telling me how to keep my family healthy.