The Speech Bush Will Never Make

President Bush’s public approval ratings are at an all-time low. It’s difficult to imagine how he could improve them dramatically with just about 18 months left in office.

But I do believe there is one speech he could make that would instantly increase his popularity by 50 percent to 100 percent. It’s a speech he will never give. Here is a rough draft of the text:

"My fellow Americans, I come before you today to admit a mistake and correct our course.

"But I have failed to persuade the people of my convictions on this issue.

"As I have said many times, I do not believe family values stop at the Rio Grande.

"But there comes a time in responsible leadership when you must recognize you are out of step with the people. America is a sovereign nation governed by the rule of law and the will of the people.

"Therefore, I am making this public announcement, for the benefit of members of Congress and in the interest of unifying our divided country: I have heard you speak, America. While I may disagree, while I may wish you were saying something else, while I would prefer you had heard me, I will honor your will on the issue of immigration and border security.

"Today I am issuing an executive order instructing all departments of the executive branch to do just that.

"There’s one more thing I would like to add.

"I will not be with you as president for much longer. In January 2009, I will hand over the reins of power to a successor. When I do, I intend to leave office with a clear conscience and the knowledge that I upheld my oath of office, followed the rule of law and attempted to adhere to the will of the people.