How to Win in Iraq

I’ll choke if I hear one more person say that the United States “can’t win a military victory in Iraq.” If the best-equipped and best-trained military force on Earth can’t beat back an insurgency and restore calm in a country the size of Iraq, we should crawl into a hole and stop calling the U.S. a superpower.

Imagine with me for a moment, an alternate universe in which the defense of Western Civilization is more important than politics. Here is a dispatch that I was able to snatch from that other world:

“Insurgents in Iraq Will Not Prevail Says New Democratic Majority”
(Washington: Amalgamated Press)

Leaders of the new Democratic majority, meeting with reporters on Capitol Hill, said that while they have many disagreements with President George W. Bush on his domestic agenda, terrorists and insurgents should not expect partisan bickering to disrupt the war effort.

“We want to send a message to al Qaeda and to all other Islamic terrorist groups throughout the Middle East,” said new House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. “The strength of our political system is our right to disagree. But when we voted to give our President the authority to remove Saddam Hussein unless he cooperated fully with international inspectors, we were making a commitment to victory.”

Sen. Harry Reid, the new Senate Majority Leader, said that issues of freedom and security always bring Americans together. “Let me add my voice to that of Speaker Pelosi,” said Reid. “Saddam Hussein could have avoided this war by simply complying with U.N. resolutions. That he chose not to do so made it impossible for the rest of the world to sit idly by.”

Also attending the news conference were war veterans Congressman John Murtha and Sen. John F. Kerry.

“As you know,” said Rep. Murtha, “I preferred to give the situation more time. But I will not take a political issue beyond the water’s edge. Not when our troops are in harm’s way. The only path that we can take is one of victory.”

Sen. Kerry was more emphatic. “A Republican president took us into this war,” he stated. “And now a Democratic Congress is determined to win it. Our message to the terrorists and the insurgents is — we will defeat you.”

President Bush has announced a “surge” strategy for Iraq, sending about 21,500 additional troops as reinforcements. Muqtada al-Sadr called it an “escalation” of the war. Sen. Kerry shot back that if ten firemen need help putting out a fire, sending in help is not an escalation of the fire. Kerry suggested sending in an additional 100,000 troops, an idea he says he got from al Qaeda’s al-Zawahiri. “I just thought he was onto something,” Kerry explained.

All of the military branches reported a surge in enlistments as young men and women step up to serve their county. Major college campuses have urged the services to set up recruitment stations on-campus until the war is won.

President Bush’s new strategy has been bolstered by our allies, most of whom immediately praised the surge strategy and prepared to send additional troops of their own. France’s Jacque Chirac issued a statement saying “…the interests of freedom are always the interests of France.”

Britain, Italy, Germany and Russia are among those nations that pledged to help.

Editorial pages of the world’s top newspapers have long supported the cause of freedom, and they are behind the march to victory in Iraq. “We supported the ouster of Saddam,” wrote The New York Times. “And now we will accept only victory in Iraq. After all, we ARE the United States of America.”

Sen. Chuck Hagel, R-NE, lectured fellow members of Congress who failed to get on the victory bandwagon. “Do you believe that there are people out there who want to kill us or not?” asked Hagel.

“Not!” replied Congressman Kucinich.

Meanwhile, the intelligence services continue to monitor enemy communications. An intercepted message, purportedly from Osama bin Laden to al-Zawahiri contained a reference translated loosely as “Let’s rethink this.”

A videotape posted on Islamic websites and played repeatedly on al Jazeera pleaded for the U.S. and its allies to come to the bargaining table.

Baghdad has been quiet since the surge announcement, and the Iraqis are going about the business of work and school.