'Arguments R Us': A Shop for the Logically Challenged

" Why Debate When You Can Hate?"

  • Speak in defense of innocent human life and you’re "an anti-choice, woman-hating extremist."
  • Speak for decency in media, the arts and entertainment, and you’re an "anti-free speech, unenlightened censor who needs to rejoin the turnip truck."
  • Speak in support of religious liberty and the faith of the Founders and you’re "a zealot who will impose theocratic rule and fly a plane into a building."
  • Speak in support of traditional marriage and you’re "a homophobic bigot and anti-civil rights."

(Thanks to those that shopped at for these pearls of wisdom.)

In The Naked Public Square, Richard John Neuhaus pondered public life stripped of all reference to religion and religiously grounded morality. Twelve years later, Neuhaus recognized "that those who appeal to the founding vision are today widely condemned as religious fanatics, as aliens and sectarians who would ‘impose their values on a pluralistic society.’"

Anyone who has experienced name-calling and personal attacks that masquerade as reasoned argument might think that Neuhaus should have titled it, The Nasty Public Square.

And just when you thought it was safe to visit the border, problema grande. You’re anti-Latino (according to the New York Times brain-trust), anti-immigrant, racist, vigilante, nativist, xenophobic, mean-spirited and unchristian.

Let me begin with the obligatory disclaimer that I am not anti-immigrant. Two of my grandparents came through Ellis Island from Hungary and one came from Greece. I am an unhyphenated American who refuses to obliterate an important distinction. The "Melting Pot" shouldn’t be demeaned by melding the illegal with the legal.

Despite the risk of encountering a fresh batch of slings and arrows, I’d like to ask a few questions of those in our federal government who are determined to reward those who’ve rejected our national sovereignty by entering our country in disobedience to our generous immigration laws, and are demanding equal rights and status with those who followed the rules.

  1. Is there a chance that some of these "guest workers" could take the place of Americans in Congress who won’t do the work?
  2. Do you have a fence around your private property?
  3. Have you hired any "vigilante”"security guards to patrol it?
  4. Have you instructed your guards just to catch and release trespassers?
  5. What’s your feeling about the Mexican government providing its migratory citizens a brochure with directions to your house and its key entry points?
  6. How do you feel about those who’ve entered the United States illegally having an equal right to enter your home and remain as "guest occupants"?
  7. Are their spouses, children, parents, siblings and other relatives welcome to join you?
  8. Are you willing to foot the bill for their medical care and education or will you ask Vincente Fox to cut you a check?
  9. How long would those with "temporary status" and "near-permanent convertible status" have to reside in your home before they qualify for "legal permanent residence" and become eviction-free?
  10. When would they have voting rights in your home owner’s association?
  11. Do you expect those who’ve been in your home between two and five years to leave when you tell them to, go to one of 16 "ports of entry" to receive amnesty, and return with lawful occupancy permits for your home?
  12. Just how much lettuce are you consuming?
  13. Since you keep reminding us that it’s impossible to round up 12 million illegals, how are you going to round up 10 million and take them back to the border?
  14. Call me a cock-eyed skeptimist, but I need an explanation for why you think that 10 million illegals are going home voluntarily to wait in line for re-entry when they weren’t willing to do that in the first place.
  15. Could you provide a couple of thoughts about how you’re going to keep your next batch of immigration laws from becoming "broken" and "unenforceable"?
  16. By the way, are you as eager for decent, hard-working, law-abiding Americans to leave America as Vincente Fox is about decent, hard-working Mexicans leaving Mexico?
  17. Why do you suppose he’s so eager for his people to leave while he makes it so hard for decent, hard-working, law-abiding Americans to reside in his country?
  18. To those telling us how "unchristian" we are because "Jesus would never turn anyone away": Have you read the part where He said, "I tell you the truth, the man who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber." How about, "Depart from Me, I never knew you." Then there’s that whip He used to drive some out of the Temple. You might want to ponder it before you tell me he was enforcing the Law.
  19. On a related note, when did the United States become a church? Just an FYI: The Supreme Court shot down that one some time ago. There was something about a wall of separation, as I recall.
  20. Has the Secret Service been instructed to cease arresting those who jump the White House fence, or are we still of the opinion that they’re not all harmless tourists?
  21. After the Senate voted last week to allow illegal aliens to collect Social Security benefits based on past illegal employment, even if the job was obtained through forged or stolen documents, Ken Lay called. He’s clueless as to why the government is trying to deprive him and his family of the nest egg he worked so hard to provide for them at Enron. Why should securities and wire fraud stand in the way of amnesty? Is it because he was here legally?
  22. Is the FBI using any undocumented guest workers to dig up that farm in Michigan looking for Jimmy Hoffa? He’s going to be really ticked if they weren’t union guys.