Sheriff Enforces Law, Controversy Ensues

Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Maricopa County, Arizona, has violated all the norms of decent, complacent, and corrupt society by brazenly arresting illegal aliens, as if they had committed some crime.  Worse yet, he has actually publicly announced his intention to arrest immigration criminals, which detractors fear could have a chilling effect on aspiring border infiltrators. "It’s important to send the message out to stay in Mexico and don’t come roaming around here hoping you’re going to get amnesty," commented Arpaio.

The popular Sheriff, best known for his cost-effective "tent-city" to house criminals in the desert outside Phoenix (as if they had committed some crime), has begun arresting illegal aliens under an Arizona law against human smuggling.  Such a move makes perfect sense, since each alien has, at the very least, smuggled himself across the border.  And as a placard at the May Day protest reminded us, "Illegal Aliens Are Humans Too." Thus, human smuggling charges seem merited, solely on humanitarian grounds.

Arpaio does not intend to play "catch and release" games either, but instead intends to punish the border infiltrators by confining them for an inconvenient period in his recently expanded tent-city jail, as if they had committed some crime. "We’re going to arrest any illegal who violates this new law," Arpaio explained. "I’m not going to turn these people over to federal authorities so they can have a free ride back to Mexico. I’ll give them a free ride into the county jail" — as if they had committed some crime!

Inexplicably, Arpaio has made his commitment to a strange, xenophobic, patriarchical, and possibly homophobic concept called "law enforcement" even more affordable by using trained volunteers from his 3000-member reserve deputy "posse" to arrest the illegal aliens.  Clearly, this violates the unwritten rule that immigration law enforcement must be a weighty burden on tax payers, so that they tire of it and accept open borders.

The Sheriff is, of course, being sued — as if he had committed some crime. The Mexican government intends to join the lawsuits, in an effort to stop this outbreak of law enforcement within America.

Perhaps President Bush may finally agree to send troops to the border-to arrest Sheriff Arpaio.