Mexican Government Issues Map of Best Smuggling Routes to Immigration Criminals

Mexico, our staunch and co-operative ally in border security, has begun issuing an official map of the Arizona border, designed specifically to aid smuggling. The map, printed at government expense and distributed in border towns, shows roads, highways, trails, water sources, and cell phone reception quality in isolated areas. The distance that one can easily walk in one day is also marked on the map.

"We are not trying in any way to encourage or promote migration," said Mauricio Farah, spokesman for the "Human Rights" agency distributing the map. Farah commented later in the same interview, however, that "the United States should be grateful" for the maps since "hundreds of thousands of Mexicans help maintain their economy."

Since the maps don’t encourage human smuggling, it’s a little hard to know what we should be grateful for. Undoubtedly the maps come with a little disclaimer that reads "For use by good-hearted people only. When breaking the immigration laws, legal identification laws, employment laws, insurance laws, and tax laws of the United States, be sure not break any other laws. Never use this map to smuggle drugs or people you don’t know, especially if they are wearing an ‘I love Osama’ T-shirt or seem to be running from the Mexican police. That would be wrong."

Mexico is our friend. Vicente Fox is our friend. We should continue to send foreign aid to Mexico and reward her with cushy trade agreements.