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Teddy Kennedy Stars in ‘A Few Good Men’

Well, the hearings are over.  It was a charade.  We knew it would be.  

If you missed it, here’s a recap: Democrats gave arrogant self-serving speeches, and occasionally tried to trip up Alito.  They wanted to make him mad.  They wanted him to say something stupid.  … They failed.  

Frankly, the Dems only hope was that this whole hearing would end up like "A Few Good Men."  This was Teddy Kennedy’s secret fantasy:  

Kennedy: Did you, um, know about the Princeton, um, Alumni group?

Alito: You want answers?  I give you stare decisis!

Kennedy: I think I’m, um, entitled to them.  What, um, about Bush’s eavesdropping?

Alito: You want answers?

Kennedy: I want, um, the truth!

Alito: You can’t handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has walls. And those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Santiago’s death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives…You don’t want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall.

We use words like honor, code, loyalty…we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use ’em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I’d rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to!

Kennedy: Did you, um, order the, um, code red?

Alito: (Quietly) I did the job you sent me to do.

Kennedy: Did you, um, order the, um, code red?

Alito: You’re goddamn right I did!!

(Alito is led out of the courtroom in handcuffs.  Kennedy and Demi Moore get married.  The world is safe for Democracy, as the ultra-conservative Alito is taken down).

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Written By

Mr. Lewis has managed political campaigns and served as director of grassroots for the Leadership Institute, as well as political director for GOPAC. In 2002, Campaigns & Elections magazine selected him as a "Rising Star of Politics." He is the author of "Teaching Elephants to Talk." His blog can be read at MattLewis.org.

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