Time to Lose the Kerry/Edwards Bumperstickers

For the love of God, please remove those “Kerry/Edwards” bumper stickers from your cars and trucks! In case you didn’t get the memo, your side lost! It’s like you’re walking around with a big “L” on your forehead — Loser!

I’m not sure why you still have that sticker on your bumper. Maybe it’s been too cold outside for you to remove it. Maybe your post-election depression is so deep you can’t bring yourself to take it off. Maybe you’re living in denial. Maybe you’ve been too busy spreading lies and rumors about the future of Social Security and judicial nominations that you haven’t had enough time to get it off your vehicle.

Or maybe it’s even worse than I thought. Maybe you’ve tried, you’ve scrubbed, you’ve scratched, you’ve pulled and it just won’t come off. It’s stuck to the back of your Volvo or Volkswagen like a bloodthirsty parasite. But, then again, we are talking about John Kerry and John Edwards, two men who would have acted like ravaging bloodsuckers on the back of every U.S. citizen had they been elected.

Honestly, for your own self-dignity, it’s time to remove the Kerry/Edwards bumper stickers. Personally, I’m glad so many of you have left them on your vehicles. It’s makes it so much easier for me to point out and identify the idiots. If I pull-up to the drive-thru pharmacy and get cut-off by another car, normally I’d get upset. But, if I see they have a Kerry/Edwards sticker on their car, I immediately calm down and remind myself, “This person didn’t mean to cut me off. It’s just that they feel they’re entitled to health care.” On the highway, when I get behind someone who’s going less than 50 M.P.H. and they’re causing a tie-up, I’d normally lay on the horn. But, if I see their Kerry/Edwards sticker, I pause, take my hand away from the horn, and remind myself, “It’s not that they don’t know how to drive, it’s that they’re trying to conserve gas and preserve our environment by traveling at a slower speed.”

I mean, really, you’re doing me a public service by announcing your stupidity, but it still can’t be good for your own mental well-being and possibly your very own safety. Hardened criminals must also enjoy seeing who still proudly sports the sign of the jackass. Thugs can immediately identify which citizens don’t own a gun and won’t hold them responsible for their actions.

Simply put — the election is over. You lost. Get over it. Move on. Live in the “now.” Your candidates were wrong about the state of our economy. They were wrong when they said the Iraqi elections would fail. They were wrong about the war on terrorism. If it were up to them, our troops would be packing-up and moving-out in another three months. Do you think the war on terrorism will be over in three months?

Maybe a better question is, “Do you think three months from now people will still be driving around with Kerry/Edwards bumper stickers on their cars and trucks?” Yep, I think so, and it makes life a lot easier. Now, I don’t have to wonder, “What’s wrong with this guy?” I already know.


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