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Mr. Politics Returns To Answer Your Questions

As usual, he’s feeling a bit testy.

Mr. Politics is back to answer your questions. And, as usual, he’s feeling a bit testy.

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Now that a brutal dictatorship has been overthrown in Iraq, and free elections have been held there and in Afghanistan, and Libya has renounced its nuclear program, and Israel and the Palestinians have declared a cease-fire, and leaders of Saudi Arabia and others have been put on notice about democratizing their nations, what more has to happen in order for President Bush to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize?

J.V.
Philadelphia, PA

THE COMMAND OF THE UNITED STATES MILITARY WOULD HAVE TO BE HANDED OVER TO THE UNITED NATIONS, KOFI ANNAN’S LIKENESS WOULD HAVE TO BE ENGRAVED ON MT. RUSHMORE, THE U.S. WOULD HAVE TO APOLOGIZE TO FRANCE AND GERMANY FOR MAKING A MESS OF THE MIDDLE EAST, AND, EVEN THEN, THE PRIZE WOULD MORE LIKELY BE AWARDED POSTHUMOUSLY TO YASSER ARAFAT.

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Whom do you think should be the face of the Democratic Party?

B.R.
Zanesville, OH

THAT’S A TOUGH ONE GIVEN THAT THERE ARE SO MANY CANDIDATES FOR OTHER PARTS OF THE BODY.

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I hope you can help me figure something out. I recently went to a political dinner in my hometown, and I overheard two local Democratic figures talking about Howard Dean taking over as DNC Chairman, and I thought I heard them say something about how that would mean that the “Democrats were committed to young people in the Far East”. I suppose I may have heard wrong. Any idea what they meant by that?

P.E.
Albany, NY

MY GUESS IS THAT WHAT YOU ACTUALLY HEARD WAS THAT THE “DEMOCRATS WERE COMMITTING EUTHANASIA.”

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I seem to remember seeing a comedy team called Franken & Davis regularly on “Saturday Night Live” years ago. Was that Al Franken, the Liberal author and talk show host?

F.O.
Taos, NM

IT WAS, INDEED. DAVIS WAS THE FUNNY ONE.

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Who are you to sit there insulting everyone and saying nasty things without suffering any consequences? There’s a name for people like that!

C.C.
Salem, OR

THERE IS. IT’S NANCY PELOSI.

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Even though most Hollywood celebrities seem to be on the Left, this is America, and everyone is entitled to an opinion. Don’t you see their voices as contributing to anything?

A.S.
Murray, KY

YES. GLOBAL WARMING.

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I notice that opposition to Dr. Condoleezza Rice’s nomination as the first African-American woman to be Secretary of State was led by a former Klansman, Senator Robert Byrd. I note, too, that she was characterized as a lackey who was willing to put aside her values to obey her white master. And I heard of her demeaning caricature by some as an “Aunt Jemima”. This reminded me of the “Uncle Tom” accusations hurled at Colin Powell and the unrelenting criticism of Justice Clarence Thomas as being not quite “up to the job”. Have the Democrats become the party of racism?

R.J.
Glendale, CA

NICE TRY, R.J., BUT ONLY REPUBLICANS CAN BE RACISTS.

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Don’t you think Edward R. Murrow must turn over in his grave every time CBS News does something stupid?

L.G.
Butte, MT

I SUPPOSE THAT’S HOW HE GOT HIS HEAVENLY NICKNAME: “PINWHEEL MURROW.”

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Do Democrats have anything to be thankful for?

I.L.
Hershey, PA

THE 22ND AMENDMENT.

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I’m very excited about baseball’s return to Washington, but I’m a bit disappointed in the name “Nationals”. Were any other names considered?

H.A.
Washington, DC

IN ADDITION TO “SENATORS”, WORD IS THAT SERIOUS CONSIDERATION WAS GIVEN TO “WASHINGTON WINDBAGS,” “CAPITAL PUNISHMENT,” “D.C. LOBBYISTS,” AND–MY PERSONAL FAVORITE–“THE POTOMAC PORK BARRELS.”

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Written By

Mr. Sajak is the host of "Wheel of Fortune" and PatSajak.com.

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