Mr. Politics Answers Your Questions

Mister Politics. He may be mean and nasty, but at least he’s succinct.

Dear Mr. Politics,

Why was California Senator Barbara Boxer crying during the election certification of President Bush?

Houston, TX

  • She realized there would be another election in less than two years.

    Are the Democrats likely to nominate John Kerry again in 2008?

    Louisville, KY

  • There is a real possibility, providing some Democratic superstar doesn’t emerge between now and then, and that the ice skating rink in Hell has opened for business.

    Is there any chance that Dan Rather may change his mind about stepping down as anchor of the “CBS Evening News”?

    Flint, MI

  • Only if it turns out that his resignation letter was forged.

    Who will be the most important Democrat in the Senate during the next session?

    Tupelo, MS

  • Phil A. Buster

    Democratic political advisor Bob Shrum has had a disastrous record on the presidential level, and yet I hear he is looking for a candidate to work for in 2008. Who would possibly pay him to do that?

    San Bernardino, CA

  • The Republican National Committee

    As a concerned environmentalist, I wonder if you could tell me whether this administration even recognizes that certain species are vanishing.

    Salem, OR

  • You mean like Blue States?

    Do you have any idea what filmmaker Michael Moore’s ultimate goal is?

    Harrisburg, PA

  • I’m guessing 350 lbs.

    What’s Senator Ted Kennedy up to these days?

    Peoria, IL

  • I’m guessing 350 lbs.

    I can’t seem to find Bill Clinton’s autobiography at my local bookstore. Can you help?

    Atlanta, GA

  • Try “Current Fiction”

    No matter what you say, I believe that the three network newscasts are fair and balanced. What do you think of that?

    Mesa, AZ

  • I respect your opinion. And don’t forget to put that tooth under your pillow tonight.

    Why didn’t some Hollywood celebrities follow through on their threats to move to Canada if President Bush were re-elected?

    Landover, MD

  • I presume they had trouble locating it on a map.

    What needs to be changed to make the United Nations more effective?

    Denver, CO

  • Like a bedtime Starbucks, it needs to be de-Kofi-nated.

    Who do you think is the funniest writer working today?

    Taos, NM

  • Maureen Dowd of the New York Times, unless you mean intentionally funny.