EXCERPTS: The Official Handbook of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy

The War on Terror:
Yes, Virginia, Militant Islamists Do Want to Kill Us
“Only Militant Islamists celebrated the mass murder of three thousand people on 9/11. Liberals can tell themselves that this is not a holy war, but the Militant Islamists obviously did not get the memo.” (p. 16)

The War in Iraq:
Saddam Had It Coming
“If the U.S. wanted to use military might to conquer and steal oil, it would have been a lot cheaper to seize Mexican or Venezuelan oil fields.” (p. 24)

Helplessness Is Not a Virtue:
Why We Need Missile Defense
“Contrary to what over half of Americans think, the U.S. today has no way to intercept and destroy a nuclear missile launched at us. So what can we do if the Chinese, North Koreans, or some crazed Islamic state launches a nuclear missile at us? Duck.” (p. 61)

America the Beautiful:
Why this “Arrogant, Unilateral, Racist, Gun-Crazed Society” Is the Envy of the World
“Why is America the greatest country in the world? Just ask those who risk slavery, poverty, and even death to reach the U.S. That Americans don’t board rafts and shove off for Cuba proves the point.” (p. 69)

The United Nations:
Let’s Tear It Down and Put Up a Starbucks
“Liberals love the United Nations because it reminds them of the form of government that they support in the United States: bloated, ineffectual, anti-capitalist, and anti-American.” (p. 77)

The Runaway Judiciary:
Rule of Law, Not Rule by Judges
“Liberals run to the courts to get from friendly judges what they can’t get from the democratic process.” (p. 99)

Plucking Chicken Little:
A Common-Sense Approach to the Environment
“Look around the world: Countries that are economic basket cases are also environmental nightmares. In countries where the economies are relatively free from government interference, the natural environment is cleaner than in countries with state-controlled economies.” (p. 164)

I Have a Dream:
Let’s End Racial Preferences Once and For All
“America is a racist country? Our favorite athletes are Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan; our favorite entertainers are Oprah Winfrey, Bill Cosby, and Jennifer Lopez; and our nation’s leaders? They include Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice.” (p. 134)

Don’t Let Hillary Choose Your OB/GYN:
The Case Against Government-Controlled Health Care
“If the government pays for all the health care in America, then expect your local doctor and hospital to be as responsive to your needs as your local Department of Motor Vehicles.” (p. 175)

Stopp Suporting Publik Skools:
Defending School Choice
“A poll conducted in 2000 by the Washington-based Center for Education Reform found that 70 percent of African-American parents earning less than $15,000 a year support school choice.” (p. 181)

Guns Don’t Kill People:
Liberal Gun Control Laws Kill People
“Criminals use guns to murder, cars to get away, knives, hammers, and ropes to break in, and even airplanes to bring down buildings. The focus should be on the criminal, not the tool he used.” (p. 187)

Oh, and Al?
Bush Won
“How exactly did Bush steal an election when he won all the recounts? George Bush gained more votes than Al Gore on election night after the automatic recount and after the absentee ballots were counted.” (p. 209)


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