Yesterday's Top Stories

The week that was

The week that was

“The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people.”
– G.K. Chesterton 

The Ebola crisis has kicked into high gear, with more people contracting the deadly disease, and the CDC failing more and more miserably at its job. The CDC and NIH complained that budget cuts are to blame to their unpreparedness. A report this week, however, revealed that the CDC wasted almost 40 million taxpayer dollars on such things as studying obese lesbians, origami condoms, and drunk texters, proving that more than ever, voting is a matter of life and death. 

Obama appointed an Ebola czar to deal with the outbreak. The man in charge has no healthcare experience. The president figured not illogically that he would do just as fine a job as anyone at the CDC who are trained medical professionals has done.

Schools in Australia are changing the words of “Baa Baa Black Sheep” because of “racial connotations” and possible “sexism.” Obama’s credit card was also declined on a trip to New York. People started to complain of “racial connotations” surrounding the rejection, but then recalled the state of the economy, and agreed that the president should not be trusted to handle money.

Bermuda is bracing for Hurricane Gonzalo. The super storm is named in honor of the hundreds of thousands of illegal Hispanic immigrants who likewise wreak havoc and destruction on the places they commandeer and which are not prepared for their arrival.

Dame Maggie Smith was honored by the queen at Windsor Castle this week, a reminder for Americans that the time for Downton to return to the U.S. is soon! Let’s hope the new season doesn’t let us down tons.

Teresa Mull is managing editor of Human Events.

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